Car dead at the side of the road? No worries! This kit has alll you need for emergencies and pressing problems, such as breath fresheners, aromatherapy headache remedy and antiperspirant.

More basic supplies include blanket, candle, safety matches, bandages, antiseptic wipes, instructions to change a flat tire and how to jump start a dead battery, contact list, accident record, pencil and purified water.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 06:44 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 71 words, total size 1 kb.

Dear Head--

Please stop hurting. You aren't allowed to hurt when I have this much studying to do. I realize I have been abusing you with pulling these 10-hour study-a-thons, but you must bear with me. I've been wearing my glasses like I'm supposed to in order to give you some relief. And if you just get me through Tuesday/Wednesday's exam, I'll be extra-good to you.

Please allow the 3 Excedrin to do their job now.

Thank you Mr. Head. Relaxation and fun are within your grasp. Just hang with me a few more days.

Love,
Lawren

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 09:12 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 99 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Sorry about the headache, they never seem to pay attention to us. I hope relief heads your way soon.

Posted by: Sweet N Sassy at July 20, 2004 09:25 PM (fd6bJ)

2 Fingers crossed that this works... -d

Posted by: =d at July 20, 2004 09:32 PM (XLKTl)

3 Oh, Poor Lawren You can do it, my little diva!!!!!

Posted by: Kelly P. at July 21, 2004 09:05 AM (4adEQ)

4 Good luck on the exam, Lauren!!!

Posted by: Linda at July 21, 2004 09:41 AM (9Pzdi)

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Kirsten Dunst and Jake Gyllenhaal calling it quits, per People magazine. His rep said they "remain the best of friends" and that the breakup occurred "some time ago."

--That's too bad. I really liked them together.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 04:32 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 46 words, total size 1 kb.

If you loved the "Free Winona" shirts, you're going to love the newest celebrity-scandal-turned-T-shirt:

Buy yours today, here. (Yes, they have a blog).

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 07:16 AM | Comments (21) | Add Comment
Post contains 27 words, total size 1 kb.

Don't go looking for Spike Lee at any NASCAR events this summer. The ornery movie director and Knicks fanatic nurses a paranoid fantasy about the National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing circuit.

"I just imagine hearing some country-and-Western song over a loudspeaker at NASCAR: 'Hang them n-- up high! Hang them n-- up high!' I'm not going to no NASCAR," Lee vows in the August issue of Playboy.

--Wow. For someone who preaches about prejudice and stereotype, that's the pot calling the kettle, um, black.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 07:13 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 90 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I would say that Spike Lee is a cause of prejudice and stereotypes. And not the good ones either.

Posted by: Brian D. at July 20, 2004 07:29 AM (1Vkgq)

2 honestly, though, I've always thought the same thing. right or wrong. sorry.

Posted by: robin at July 20, 2004 11:54 AM (Rujc5)

3 But if you follow their logic, Blacks and other minorities can't be prejudiced, because they're the victiiiiims. He does have a point about Kobe though. No team would pass on him because of his legal problems as long as he could perform on the court.

Posted by: mike at July 20, 2004 12:43 PM (pWjw7)

4 I'm not black and I don't go to NASCAR events. Does that make me a bigot?

Posted by: LibertyBob at July 20, 2004 03:41 PM (XVXLl)

5 This guy is a TOTAL racist and has always been one! He really chaps my ass.

Posted by: Lori at July 20, 2004 07:47 PM (kmcg6)

6 "Chaps my ass." I love it. You rock, Lori.

Posted by: Lawren at July 20, 2004 08:09 PM (Gqz1r)

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British actor Sir Ben Kingsley enraged workers and co-stars on his new film Mrs Harris - by ignoring people who failed to address him by his proper title.

The Schindler's List actor stars alongside Annette Benning and Ellen Burstyn in the drama, and caused tension on set with his insistence that everyone referred to him as "Sir Ben" at all times. One disgruntled source tells Page Six.com, "He insisted everyone call him by his title, 'Sir,' and if they didn't he would get angry or ignore them. He takes that knighting thing very seriously. He was very adamant and it turned off a lot of people."

--Hey Ben! Get over yourself.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 07:10 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 117 words, total size 1 kb.

Nearly all U.S. states have set new standards for academic achievement in their schools. To help ensure that "no child is left behind," states now periodically test students to see if they meet these standards.

Most kids are not amused. What are today's kids expected to know? Get a hint by taking this sample of the Illinois State Board of Education's math test for 8th-graders.

--I'll reluctantly admit that I only got 8/10. Did I EVER know that shit?

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 09:36 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
Post contains 91 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I got 10/10. I think it helps that I'm grading 11th grade standardized math exams this summer so it has freshened my math skills.

Posted by: Brian D. at July 19, 2004 10:14 PM (lpiIV)

2 I got 10! I'm glad those four years of college finally paid off. Where'w my prize?

Posted by: Grant at July 19, 2004 10:31 PM (Zx6DF)

3 Well go ahead and rub it in!

Posted by: Lawren at July 19, 2004 10:32 PM (Gqz1r)

4 I got 10 out of 10 also. I guess that means I'm qualified to get into 9th grade.

Posted by: Kevin the Interloper at July 20, 2004 09:06 AM (qb+8W)

5 I got only 8. One was a stupid mistake of forgetting to subtract in the last step. The other I was sure I had right and have no clue why it was wrong. Especially since the same formula worked for another of the questions. Oh well. I might have gotten them all back in 1975. Or not.

Posted by: Jay Solo at July 20, 2004 09:54 AM (ECWEx)

6 7/10, with two mistakes from not reading the problems carefully enough and one from being too casual about my multiplication (but hey, I still passed!...)

Posted by: LDH at July 20, 2004 11:11 AM (bqPDz)

7 I would just like to clarify that I'm not the Grant who posted above. If there's going to be another Grant commenting on this blog, then we'll have to arrange a system whereby people can distinguish between us.

Posted by: Grant at July 20, 2004 11:49 AM (cG6vA)

8 I got 7/10. Not reading the whole question was always one of my problems.

Posted by: mike at July 20, 2004 12:48 PM (pWjw7)

9 I knew that Mensa membership would come in handy.

Posted by: Norman at July 20, 2004 08:37 PM (sANa9)

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BeerAdvocate has compiled a list of the top 50 worst beers.

1. Corona Light
2. Michelob Ultra
3. Crazy Ed's Cave Creek Chili Beer (WTF???)
4. Bud Light
5. Natural Light

Read the rest of the list, here.

Do you all agree? I hate beer, and never drink it, so I have no idea how accurate this is.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 11:32 AM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
Post contains 64 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I definitely have to agree with the Natural Light, but it was cheap.

Posted by: M@ at July 19, 2004 12:06 PM (f2jsN)

2 I'm a Miller Lite girl (24). I don't recognize any of the 100 best, so maybe I'm not a good judge either.

Posted by: at July 19, 2004 01:10 PM (zGRGW)

3 That was me with no personal info.

Posted by: Susan at July 19, 2004 01:10 PM (zGRGW)

4 Although I enjoy regular Corona, I can't stand Corona Light or any of those other beers listed. I've never had that Chili stuff though. Natural Light (aka Natty Light) is disgusting, but it's popular with college kids because of the higher alcohol content (and it's cheap). The rest are just piss in a bottle.

Posted by: Grant at July 19, 2004 01:35 PM (cG6vA)

5 I looked at that website. I'd agree with the list. That website is for serious beer drinkers. Lawren, I'd suggest going to the Bloomington Beer Fest if you're ever curious about beer. They have hundreds of beers from around the world to try there.

Posted by: Grant at July 19, 2004 01:51 PM (cG6vA)

6 Okay - yeah, I would agree with most of the list...it is interesting that much of the list consists of "light" beers...but has anyone else ever had "Tequiza"? It could possibly be the worst beverage ever.

Posted by: Kelly P. at July 19, 2004 03:04 PM (4adEQ)

7 Ah..a topic I am familiar with. You can quibble on exact placement, but to be honest none of those are stellar beers to begin with. Though I do enjoy Miller Lite, I realize it is cheap with an acceptable taste only.

Posted by: Brian D. at July 19, 2004 05:52 PM (6N/8x)

8 I have to agree with all the beers on the list... except one... #40 Saxer Lemon lager is not really that bad... it is not the best beer from the micro brew but it is better some other Lemon Lagers.

Posted by: angelbaby at July 19, 2004 07:00 PM (vBW47)

9 I'd have to agree with most of the ones on the worst list. But really, to say a beers the worst (or best) is almost like saying that Sutter Home is the worst wine. Granted it's pretty bad, but are we talking chardonnay, cab, almost as wide a range in beers. I'll stick with my Dinkel Acker Dark, a Black and Tan, a Bass Ale, or a Killian's when I'm in a beer mood.

Posted by: Norman at July 19, 2004 08:14 PM (sANa9)

10 I'm not familiar with any of the top beers, but I have to agree with the stinky ones. Milwaukee's Best (aka The Beast) should have been the absolute worst. On an unrelated note, there seems to be a lot of Grants here.

Posted by: Grant at July 19, 2004 10:15 PM (Zx6DF)

11 Here you are again...cut it out. You can be Grant in Georgia or something.

Posted by: Grant at July 20, 2004 11:50 AM (cG6vA)

12 Michelob Ultra is the worst stuff I've ever tasted in my life. It's the diet salad dressing of beers.

Posted by: Ralph at July 20, 2004 04:56 PM (iwFp3)

13 How can they be the best beers if no one has heard of them and you can't buy them any where?

Posted by: rammer at July 21, 2004 01:30 PM (VSkqV)

14 Omg thats right! Please come see me and my friends!

Posted by: watch moi at March 16, 2005 04:04 PM (auBNE)

15 hmm..this is quite interesting

Posted by: generic drugs at September 26, 2005 02:32 AM (MkLl0)

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The remake of Charlie And The Chocolate Factory was thrown into chaos on Wednesday when a worker dropped a $540,000 camera lens in a vat of chocolate.

The clumsy technician had failed to properly secure his wire-held camera, and watched aghast as it plunged into the three foot deep tank. According to insiders, the delay the incident caused could cost director Tim Burton's project up to $900,000.

One source on the English set says, "When the camera fell it was like a slap-stick scene straight from the movie. A team of riggers had come in specially from the States to set it up over the vat of synthetic chocolate. But someone made a mistake and it wasn't secured properly. The production team didn't know whether to laugh or cry. The camera is probably beyond repair."

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 06:32 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
Post contains 141 words, total size 1 kb.

Is the carb craze waning?

Every day seems to bring another low-carb product to grocery shelves. Low-carb beer is old hat. Low-carb colas fight for our soft drink dollars. And who hasn't yet tried a low-carb candy bar?

More low-carb products are waiting in the wings. But their makers may have missed the boat, says Lee Smith, president of InsightExpress, an online research firm. A new study by InsightExpress shows that half of Americans who've tried low-carb diets have given them up. Only one in 10 of us are on low-carb diets, the survey shows. And the trend is down, not up.

"The peak of the low-carb trend may have happened," Smith tells WebMD. "The trend is for people to think they don't want to go on a low-carb diet. They are starting not to purchase the low-carb products that are entering the marketplace."

Read on, here.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 06:29 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 153 words, total size 1 kb.

My life is rated NC-17.
What is your life rated?

Found at Espresso Sarcasm.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 06:27 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
Post contains 20 words, total size 1 kb.

1 me too! just the way i like it.

Posted by: robin at July 19, 2004 08:03 AM (qM8fh)

2 Has anyone not been NC-17?

Posted by: M@ at July 19, 2004 08:54 AM (f2jsN)

3 NC-17 here, too...

Posted by: LDH at July 19, 2004 09:45 AM (bqPDz)

4 Also, NC-17, but there were some questions that didn't really fit me. Like the smoking one didn't allow a "used to smoke a lot but quit" answer.

Posted by: RP at July 19, 2004 10:28 AM (LlPKh)

5 By changing one answer I would be NC-17, but I am merely Rated R. It seems I need more sex in order to truly earn the coveted NC-17 rating. Umm...I have a few people in mind

Posted by: Brian D. at July 19, 2004 05:49 PM (6N/8x)

6 I got an X. What does that mean?

Posted by: Grant at July 19, 2004 08:09 PM (qDWvu)

7 Wait until you're 40 and have children. PG-13 here.

Posted by: Jeff Cooper at July 20, 2004 12:19 PM (CSRuh)

8 Triple zeros. Are they zeroes someone painted?

Posted by: Ralph at July 20, 2004 04:58 PM (iwFp3)

9 "Rated R" - hmmm...I have THE biggest potty mouth, so I think it must be my lack of drug use.....

Posted by: Kelly P. at July 21, 2004 01:10 PM (4adEQ)

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As she faces possible jail time, Martha Stewart invoked the name of Nelson Mandela, South Africa's persecuted anti-apartheid hero, saying "many, many good people have gone to prison."

--Yeah, Martha. I can see the similarities.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 08:34 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 41 words, total size 1 kb.

I agree w/ Andy:

During periods when men's tennis has reached its popularity peak in the United States, it has been spurred by rivalries between Americans.

John McEnroe-Jimmy Connors and Andre Agassi-Pete Sampras were the most prominent ones in the past 25 years. Agassi and Sampras also were challenged by Jim Courier and Michael Chang.

Andy Roddick, 21, is waiting for his rival or rivals to arrive. "It's a definite necessity for American players to be playing well to promote interest," Roddick said in a conference call last month.

Heading into this week's RCA Championships at the Indianapolis Tennis Center, defending tournament champion Roddick is ranked No. 2 on the ATP Tour.

Agassi, 34, who withdrew from the RCAs on Saturday, is rated No. 10.

The next-highest ranked U.S. player is Mardy Fish, who is No. 18. Other top young Americans are Taylor Dent (2 , Robby Ginepri (36) and James Blake (44). Ginepri is 21 years old, Fish 22, Dent 23 and Blake 24.

I miss the good ole days.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 08:31 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 182 words, total size 1 kb.

David Letterman's Worldwide Pants Inc. is producing its first film, an independent feature based on Comedy Central's cockeyed cautionary tale, "Strangers With Candy."

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 08:13 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Spider-Man 2 star Kirsten Dunst ordered video game designers to tone down the animated version of her character Mary Jane - because they gave her over-inflated breasts.

The actress was asked to give her approval for the sequel's new merchandise and had to chastise the game's saucy creators.

She says: "I got to approve the video game, the way she looks. They made her boobs gigantic. I was like, 'Tone down the boobs, please!" It was a little ridiculous."

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 03:47 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 85 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Good for her!

Posted by: GrumpyBunny at July 17, 2004 06:58 PM (yqtix)

2 To quote a line from that great epic, Bring it On: "Torrence, you are being a cheertator!" But I do agree with her on this. BTW, I now have the sudden desire to watch "Interview with the Vampire" again.

Posted by: chuck at July 18, 2004 10:35 AM (hDTTU)

3 Gotta love "Bring it On."

Posted by: Lawren at July 18, 2004 05:26 PM (Gqz1r)

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No shit:

On Thursday, health officials warned residents not to buy cheese and raw milk products sold on the streets and neighborhoods of San Diego County.

The warning was issued because those items could contain harmful bacteria. The illegal products, known as "bathtub cheese," are a health threat because unlicensed manufacturers use raw, unpasteurized milk that can promote bacteria growth, according to health officials.

--WTF? Bathtub cheese? That's sick.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 08:21 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 69 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Why is that sick? They have to get the mold culture starters from somewhere!

Posted by: chuck at July 17, 2004 09:10 AM (jwBVx)

2 Ewwwwww! If it's called bathroom cheese why would ya wanna buy it anyway?!?

Posted by: Kelly at July 17, 2004 03:09 PM (E2iNO)

3 I'm hoping it's just a term - not that I'd be buying it anyway.

Posted by: Norman at July 18, 2004 01:39 AM (sANa9)

4 Kelly, I really don't think there are street vendors yelling out, "GET YOUR BATHROOM CHEESE HERE!!" Is there really that much of a profit to be made in doing this. During Prohibition, people would make alcohol in their tubs, but I can't see making cheese as that profitable.

Posted by: chuck at July 18, 2004 10:38 AM (hDTTU)

5 uh... dang, I LIVE here...never heard of this. but I still wouldn't buy bathroom cheese...EEEWW!

Posted by: PunkAssBitch at July 19, 2004 06:17 PM (+VZDP)

6 There's a little ma & pa mexican market up the street that sells bathtub cheese. It's made from cow or goat milk and done in a large galvinized tub. It's like a riccotta, but dryer, and sharp like a cheddar. I f you get it the day that it's made, it's the kind shit. If it gets old, because it's not pasturized, it goes bad quick. Also known as "Queso Fresca".

Posted by: BeachGoat at November 14, 2004 12:31 PM (0U31w)

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A Romanian surgeon who underwent a fit of madness while operating on a man's testicles proceeded to amputate his penis and cut it into three pieces, hospital officials said on Friday.

--What I would've given to be a fly on the wall of that post-op conversation.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 08:17 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 58 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Definitely a med mal cause of action, I would say. Wonder if that was listed as one of the risks of the procedure on the consent form?

Posted by: Kelly at July 18, 2004 11:54 AM (My8fB)

2 OUCH!!!! *crosses legs*

Posted by: P at July 19, 2004 01:21 AM (V5EVk)

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Are you a stickler for punctutation? Play this game and find out how your skills REALLY stack up.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 08:15 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 22 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I'm ashamed to say that I'm only a 75% stickler.

Posted by: Skerdog at July 17, 2004 12:31 PM (VuK7w)

2 I'm embarrassed to say I'm only a 92% stickler. I only missed one, and I'm of a mind that the one I missed is very subjective. But I'll let it go...for now.

Posted by: Kevin the Interloper at July 17, 2004 03:29 PM (QALZh)

3 I'll join the shame and embarrassment to say I got 75%. I missed 3, 1 apostrophe and 2 commas. But I have to agree with Kevin, I think the comma stuff was very subjective!

Posted by: Kelly at July 18, 2004 11:57 AM (My8fB)

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Brit and her man Kevin have been recently seen having a serious case of the munchies:

First the pair — who have just flown home from a beach holiday in Hawaii — picked up French fries at Neptune’s Net on the Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu.

Then 15 minutes later, they stopped at sandwich shop Subway for tortilla wraps and orange drink. They left munching bags of cheese and onion Wheatos crisps and salt and vinegar Lays.

Finally, came their third stop in 30 minutes — at a liquor store to buy Britney a miniature of Glenlivet whisky. She gulped it down in one, followed by a chaser of caffeine drink Red Bull.

Kevin, 26 — who has dumped his seven-months pregnant lover to woo Britney — clutched a bottle of cola and a stuffed grocery bag with a packet of cigs balancing on the top.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 07:59 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
Post contains 154 words, total size 1 kb.

His first two "roles" were in Criminal Hearts and Kingpin (he went uncredited in both).

Take a guess!!

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 07:51 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 22 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Will Ferrell

Posted by: Lynne at July 16, 2004 09:38 AM (sBZmh)

2 CORRECT!

Posted by: Lawren at July 16, 2004 04:24 PM (Gqz1r)

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