June 30, 2004

To fart, or not to fart

Maxim asks women: How long should a guy wait to fart in front of you?

Survey SAYS:

Until he’s my boyfriend: 39%

Forever, if at all possible: 34%

At least until dinner’s over: 13%

Until we live together: 12%

--I understand that it happens, but I'd have to say I'm in the 34%.

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Tara Reid Dating Online?


Sad, lonely and looking for a friend? At one point, you may have been able to e-mail Tara Reid, 28, on Friendster.com.

Through a series of links, if you're closely connected enough to Tara, you could find Reid on the popular site and learn that she's "Interested in Meeting People for: Dating, Serious Relationship (Men), Friends, Activity Partners."

Her profile also listed her interests as "acting, shopping, spending money, vacations, having fun, music, going out to lunch, dinner and clubs, and going on vacations like St. Tropez, Sardinia, Aspen and others."

Reid's profile was up until June 18, when Star People called her rep for a comment. About two hours later, Reid pulled it down. Too bad -- Star People really loved the pictures she posted of herself from the men's mag Stuff.

--I bet I know what kind of "activity partners" she's looking for.

Thanks for the tip, Josh.

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Who are these people?

Who are these people and what the hell do they buy?

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June 29, 2004

No Class

There's being late for court, and there's being late for court.

Leave it to Courtney Love to do the latter--she showed up more than five hours late to a Manhattan court appearance, and was scolded by a judge who said her tardiness was grounds for arrest.

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Stripping Spaces?


"Trading Spaces" star Paige Davis got down and dirty at the Broadway Bares event at Roseland Ballroom last weekend.

Photos of her mid-strip are in this week's Star magazine, showing Davis in a sheer thong, legs open, with men's hands mauling her breasts.

--Guess there's a vixen under that cotton candy exterior.

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I Ain't No Betty Crocker

I have a feeling I'll drive my future husband to this:

A Romanian man faces charges after he tried to blow up his kitchen because his wife was such a lousy cook.

Viorel Leahu, 41, from Todiresti, said he decided to punish his wife for her terrible food.

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June 28, 2004

Esther Blanks

During a concert last week, Madonna made like a blonde and forgot the words to John Lennon's "Imagine."

What makes this especially amusing was that she mentioned before she started the song that the lyrics are wonderful, important, timely — blah blah blah — so much so that she wished she had written it — and then, mid-song, she drew a blank!

--Maybe she was too preoccupied trying to remember her own name.

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Tiny Bobbles


How much fun would this be?

Whoopass makes custom bobble head dolls made from your photo. You also get to choose the body style and clothing.

Click here to see some of their work.

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Broadway Update

Acting and singing superstar Mandy Moore is considering a starring role in hit Broadway musical Wicked.

The Saved beauty told fans on her official website about her love for the Wizard Of Oz prequel, which has won several theatre awards including three Tonys, since its launch last year.

Moore enthuses, "Wicked is beyond amazing. I've actually seen it twice and was offered the chance to replace Kristin Chenoweth (Glinda) once she leaves the show.

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June 27, 2004

My Kind of Book

I'm SO pumped about the release of this book: Hitchcock Style.

It combines two of my passions: fashion and Hitchcock flicks.

Can you beat that?

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Wake Up Call

It's the 27th.

I have the bar exam in exactly one month.

Holy God.

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June 26, 2004

Unlikely Pair

Pianist Ben Folds has pushed back the release date of his upcoming solo album to concentrate on Has Been, a collection by Star Trek star and sometime musician William Shatner (Captain Kirk).

Ben Folds and William Shatner? I think Ben Folds' music is amazing. But William Shatner? Hmmm.

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Ick


In love letters to Prince Charles, Camilla Parker Bowles told how she yearned for him and urged her lover to withstand "the onslaughts of that ridiculous creature," his wife, Diana, a newspaper reported Thursday.

--Bad move, Cam. The Brits already hate you. Now you're talking smack about Diana. Not a good idea.

She describes how her "heart and body aches" to be with him. "I yearn to be with you day and night, to hug, comfort and love you," she writes to the man she calls "my most precious darling."

--Sick. Thinking of either of their bodies aching makes me want to vom.

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June 25, 2004

Everybody Loves the F-Bomb

U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney has blurted out the "F word" at Democratic Senator Patrick Leahy of Vermont during a heated exchange on the Senate floor, according to congressional aides.

The incident occurred on Tuesday in a terse discussion between the two that touched on politics, religion and money, with Cheney finally telling Leahy to "f--- off" or "go f--- yourself," the aides said on Thursday.

YES!!!! Glad to see someone else loves the F-bomb as much as I do! Go Dick!

(Yeah, yeah, I know it's unprofessional. But you know some of those guys in Washington have been DYING to say it to each other for YEARS. I say, "Have at it!")

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Batter Up!

For the die-hard Cubs fan:

Batter up!

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June 24, 2004

I'm Batman?


A distraught father staged a protest from church scaffolding in a desperate attempt to gain contact with his children.

Colin Vallis, 41, from Scarisbrick Street, Ormskirk, spent 10 hours of Father's Day dressed as Batman on scaffolding surrounding Holy Trinity Church in Southport.

The unemployed builder, who is out of work following an accident, has no idea where his son Arel, three, and daughter Sophie, one, are after his ex-partner took them away.

Mr Vallis said: "I was so distraught that I couldn't see my kids. They are very close to me and were just taken away from me. It's totally unjust. Fathers have no rights whatsoever. I feel like I have been kicked to the gutter."

--With these 2 nutjobs as parents, I think these kids would be better off in foster care!

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Christmas Present

Get excited, boys:

New mum Denise Richards is reportedly considering an offer to bare all for Playboy this Christmas. The actress wife of reformed Hollywood playboy Charlie Sheen has been approached by bosses at the men's magazine, who want her to strip for their December 2004 issue.

According to insiders, Richards is interested in showing off her sensational post-baby body but has refused a full-nude pictorial.

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Darwin Awards

The Darwin Awards were released sometime this week. I received a forward with the winning stories (thanks, Jaime). I'll share the winning story with you:

Based on a bet by the other members of his golfing threesome, Everett Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local golf course. Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez managed to straddle the ball washer and dangle his scrotum in the machine.

Much to his dismay, one of his buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in the mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled from his perch. Unfortunately for Sanchez, the post of the ball washer was more than strong enough to support his body weight, and his sack was the weakest link.

Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer, and the rotating machinery inside.

To add insult to injury, Sanchez then broke a new $300.00 graphite shaft driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, and was attempting to use as a cane. Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining threesome was asked to leave the course.

This last one wouldn't normally count, because the golfer didn't die. But because he cannot reproduce as a result of his qualifying act of stupidity, the committee allowed it.

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June 23, 2004

Judd Lands Lauder Contract


Double Jeopardy star Ashley Judd has landed a lucrative cosmetics deal with beauty giant Estee Lauder.

According to American website Pagesix.Com, the stunning Californian is set to be announced as the spokesmodel of Lauder's latest brand American Beauty today.

Very well-deserving. She's gorgeous, and oozes class, style, and grace.

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Those Are Fightin' Words

Brad Pitt has been branded a "wimp" by Hollywood actor Val Kilmer - who claims the Troy star's muscle-bound physique on film posters have been "air-brushed".

Kilmer, 44 - who will appear in rival epic Alexander later this year - has challenged Pitt's widely publicized weight training, claiming his beefy figure was faked. The Batman Forever star says, "I saw those pictures of Brad Pitt, that's all air-brushed in, you know. He's a nice guy but he's a wimp."

I'm not sure I'd provoke Brad--Did Val not see Fight Club?

UPDATE: And in a somewhat-related update, author Chuck Palahniuk may adapt Fight Club into a stage musical that would involve director David Fincher, who turned the 1996 cult book into the 1999 movie.

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