September 30, 2003

This is just wrong. It's

This is just wrong. It's going to be a "virtual version" of the show? PLEASE! When you cut out the vulgarity, sex toys, and well, SEX, what is left? Fashion? I can watch the Style Network.

They mine as well call it "Lovemaking in the City."

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 09:46 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I usually enjoy my 30

I usually enjoy my 30 minute drive to school in the morning. It's a good time for me to think, clear my head, and get ready for the day. And often times, sing.

But today, I most certainly did NOT enjoy it. As a result, I had SERIOUS road rage. Here's why:

1) I don't care how freaking late you are because of the construction on 86th and Meridian, you do NOT pass a school bus while it's starting to flash its RED LIGHTS.

2) THE LEFT LANE IS SUPPOSED TO GO FASTER THAN THE RIGHT LANE!!! If you are getting passed on the RIGHT side, you are going too SLOWLY. Get the hell out of our way!

3) When the light turns green, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GOOOOO!!! Stop talking on your phone, putting on eyeliner, or wiping your hands from that Cinnabon you just shoved in your face. Step on it!

4) See 2)

5) Do NOT honk at me when I stop for a mother and her 4-year-old child that are in the middle of the street. Yes, she's stupid for venturing out and just banking on the fact that some sap will stop for her. But I am that sap, and I do not think that I should speed by and put her child in danger for her stupidity.

6) And finally, when the signs say NO LEFT TURN from 7 a.m.-9 a.m., guess what???? DO NOT TURN LEFT!! It slows down what is supposed to be the FASTER lane of traffic (see 2) and well, IT IS AGAINST THE LAW!!!

Lord, I need a Prozac.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 09:45 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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September 29, 2003

Boy, they teach them young

Boy, they teach them young about the "high life" down under.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 06:06 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Why do I have a

Why do I have a feeling that some frat boys somewhere know what happened here?

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 01:33 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Tender love is blind It

Tender love is blind
It requires a dedication
All this love we feel
Needs no conversation

UPDATE: Ok guys, it's been SIX HOURS since I posted this and no one has even attempted a guess. I'll throw you a bone: think boobs.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 09:06 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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September 28, 2003

I used to have a

I used to have a lot of respect for Jessica Simpson: 1) She has an amazing singing voice and great range; 2) I respected her decision to abstain from sex until marriage and the example she set for young girls.

HOWEVER, I must embarrassingly admit that I've caught a few episodes of her new show on MTV called "Newlyweds," where cameras follow her and her husband (Nich Lachey of 98 Degrees fame) around and "capture" the ups and downs of their new marriage--and frankly, she makes me gag.

I've never heard such spoiled, selfish, and most of all, STUPID, words come out of anyone's mouth.

Here are a few of my favorites.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 12:52 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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September 27, 2003

For those of you who

For those of you who haven't seen the powerful movie, "Boys Don't Cry" starring Hillary Swank, it is literally one of the only movies that leaves me feeling physically ill and nauseated at how sick and cruel people can be.

It's the story of Brandon Teena , 21, who was born a woman with the name Teena Brandon, but lived as a man in southeast Nebraska. Prosecutors said he was killed in a farmhouse on New Year's Eve 1993, along with two witnesses, because Teena had reported being raped by Lotter and another man after they discovered his biological identity. Lotter received three death sentences and awaits execution.

He got some more bad news yesterday. May he rot in hell.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 02:08 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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September 26, 2003

To add to the new

To add to the new lingo that has surrounded my posts this week, I found this article. It doesn't involve people who fall asleep right after sex (men), but involves people who fall asleep DURING sex (men who need smacked).

What the hell?

Like men need another excuse to be, well, MEN. I can see it now: "Baby, I didn't mean to sleep with my hot, silicone-infested 23-year-old secretary. I was asleep. I have a condition."

Yeah, it's called being horny.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 03:20 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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They have theme weddings, theme

They have theme weddings, theme baby showers, why not have theme funerals?

This Las Vegas funeral home has the right idea: If you gotta go, go with flare!

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 10:12 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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September 25, 2003

Are you a man


Are you a man who enjoys shopping, snappy shoes and a crisply starched buttondown? Have you ever frosted your hair or bought a pair of low rise bootcuts? Do you prefer a good martini over a sudsy draft? You could be metrosexual!

No fellas, that's not a new term for a man who likes to do the wild thing in modes of public transportation.

Take this quiz and find out!

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 02:38 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I have a friend that

I have a friend that works in the magazine industry in New York. In an effort to keep me cool (knowing that I'm in Indiana and fashion and coolness arrives here 3 years late), she gave me a head's up regarding new slang being spoken in NYC. I thought I'd share with you:

spenny:
Pricey; short for "expensive." (Sure I like that place, but it's kinda spenny.)

NUMP/NUWT:
Obnoxious party-invite acronyms, as in No Ugly Men, Please/No Ugly Women, Thanks.

e-mauling:
Stalking someone via e-mail.

guyatus:
A hiatus from guys. (Thanks, but no thanks. I'm kind of on guyatus.)

scum:
Self-Centered Urban Male. Know any?

fifty-footer:
Someone who looks really attractive from 50 feet away. Closer examination reveals ...
(Flashback to the movie Clueless, where Cher says, "she's such a Monet.") Similar concept.

Now I can stop using words like "bling bling" and "flossin'."

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 08:22 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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September 24, 2003

I've been getting some flack

I've been getting some flack for the release of this statistic: Yes, my little old undergrad university with its approximately 2,300 students tucked away in nowhere Indiana ranks with the big boys in terms of partying.

But before you write DePauw off your list, let me try to balance the scales a bit.

1) You may not know that DPU ranks in the top tier of America's national liberal arts colleges, according to US News & World Report's 2004 rankings.
2) The report also ranks “Great Schools at Great Prices,” and again this year rates DePauw as among the best values in its category. Using a formula that factors in the ratio of quality to price, the percentage of all undergraduates receiving grants meeting financial need, and average discount, DePauw is 22nd among national liberal arts colleges.
3) 72% of DePauw classes have fewer than 20 students enrolled (I could go on for hours about the benefits of this statistic).
4) US News also notes that DePauw is second among all of America's colleges and universities in the percentage of students who study abroad (89%). (I can't express how much value I received from international travel.)
5) DePauw is ranked eighth among over 800 liberal arts colleges as the source of top business executives, according to Standard & Poor's.

So, all I'm saying is, take some time to look past one statistic when picking out a college. I wanted a place that allowed me creative freedom, a place that would kick my ass in the classroom, and a place to let loose.

DePauw was all of those things and more. Work hard, play hard.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 01:04 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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They had to do a

They had to do a scientific study to come up with this conclusion? PLEASE! You could have just asked US!

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 10:27 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Daily routines are important, but

Daily routines are important, but weekly ones are as well. There are two things I do every Sunday, that I think are imperative to your overall beauty upkeep.

1) I exfoliate my face every Sunday night before I go to bed. It gets off the dead skin cells from the week and makes my skin very smooth. I've noticed an overall change in the appearance of my skin from doing this. Note: I suggest doing this at the end of the day, because I always look a bit red afterwards.

Recommended product: DDF Strawberry Almond Face and Body Polish -- It's a little pricey, but I'm still on the same bottle I've had for 3 months. A little bit goes a long way.

2) I deep clean my hair. I have very thick hair, and in order to keep it under control, I have to use a smoother, pomade, and hairspray. All of this "stuff" can build up on your hair. Because I use a milder shampoo for color-treated hair during the week, there is a need to deep clean it once a week.

Recommended product: d:fi Extreme Cleansing Shampoo -- Available at most salons. Note: do NOT use this product every day, or your hair will become stripped of its essential oil.
Costsaver Tip: Pantene makes a very similar (and cheaper) alternative called Daily Clarifying Shampoo.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 08:34 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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September 23, 2003

Now here's a woman who

Now here's a woman who really sinks her teeth into reading.

At least it was a learning experience for one of the librarians, Debbie Barry, who stated, "[w]hat I should have done was yanked her hair and sat on her, but I didn't think of it at the time.”

Hindsight is always 20/20, Deb.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 12:39 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Although I'm a fan of

Although I'm a fan of good, tight harmony, Lori over at Right We Are has a great post explaining why the Dixie Chicks continually make me suppress my gag reflex.

This "we're so abused" crap is for the birds. Or apparently, the chicks.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 10:18 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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September 22, 2003

I'm not sure which "exposed

I'm not sure which "exposed weapon" would be more traumatizing to a child.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 09:41 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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"When I was a kid,

"When I was a kid, I played on the street. I always loved illusion."

Hint: Put on your Broadway caps.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 11:05 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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September 21, 2003

Ok, 50 minutes down of

Ok, 50 minutes down of the Emmy broadcast and here are my thoughts: EVERYBODY DOES NOT LOVE RAYMOND!

8:57 p.m.--What the HELL is going on with Paula Abdul's hair? It's Miss America meets the Beehive. And that tiara thing? Awful.

9:15 p.m.--Very bad and stupid Rumsfeld imitation. Overdone.

9:30 p.m.--Debra Messing looks FABULOUS as usual.

9:48 p.m.--SO glad to see Door to Door has been winning awards. It truly was one of the best movies I saw last year. You should really try to catch it or rent it. As I'm writing, William H. Macy just won for this movie. Truly deserved. This story is about a humbled and heroic man, and Macy portrayed him beautifully. The show made me laugh and cry--the sign of a true drama.

10:10 p.m.--Note to Damon Wayans--have someone pronounce the nominees' names for you before you ever try this presenting thing again. You were terrible.

10:51 p.m. We sure did lose a lot of unbelievable talent this year.

10:58 p.m.--Dakota Fanning is the cutest little thing EVER!

11:00 p.m.--When you go up against Edie Falco, you're going to lose. Don't buy a dress. Don't even show up.

11:02 p.m.--When you go up against James Gandolfini, see above (only insert tux for dress).

11:11 p.m.--EVERYBODY DOES NOT LOVE RAYMOND!

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 08:51 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Ok, so I dig awards

Ok, so I dig awards shows. Do I think the best talent is always nominated? Absolutely not. This year, I think Scrubs was totally robbed.

However, I just can't help loving the Red Carpet coverage and cheering for my favorite people and shows. Tonight I'll be watching (if I get home from the law library in time) the 55th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at 8 p.m. Eastern on Fox. This year, I'm rooting for Six Feet Under, Sex and the City, and Will and Grace.

I'm also always intrigued whether Martin Sheen will take yet another opportunity to make an ass out of himself.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 11:19 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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