September 30, 2003
They mine as well call it "Lovemaking in the City."
But today, I most certainly did NOT enjoy it. As a result, I had SERIOUS road rage. Here's why:
1) I don't care how freaking late you are because of the construction on 86th and Meridian, you do NOT pass a school bus while it's starting to flash its RED LIGHTS.
2) THE LEFT LANE IS SUPPOSED TO GO FASTER THAN THE RIGHT LANE!!! If you are getting passed on the RIGHT side, you are going too SLOWLY. Get the hell out of our way!
3) When the light turns green, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GOOOOO!!! Stop talking on your phone, putting on eyeliner, or wiping your hands from that Cinnabon you just shoved in your face. Step on it!
4) See 2)
5) Do NOT honk at me when I stop for a mother and her 4-year-old child that are in the middle of the street. Yes, she's stupid for venturing out and just banking on the fact that some sap will stop for her. But I am that sap, and I do not think that I should speed by and put her child in danger for her stupidity.
6) And finally, when the signs say NO LEFT TURN from 7 a.m.-9 a.m., guess what???? DO NOT TURN LEFT!! It slows down what is supposed to be the FASTER lane of traffic (see 2) and well, IT IS AGAINST THE LAW!!!
Lord, I need a Prozac.
September 29, 2003
It requires a dedication
All this love we feel
Needs no conversation
UPDATE: Ok guys, it's been SIX HOURS since I posted this and no one has even attempted a guess. I'll throw you a bone: think boobs.
September 28, 2003
HOWEVER, I must embarrassingly admit that I've caught a few episodes of her new show on MTV called "Newlyweds," where cameras follow her and her husband (Nich Lachey of 98 Degrees fame) around and "capture" the ups and downs of their new marriage--and frankly, she makes me gag.
I've never heard such spoiled, selfish, and most of all, STUPID, words come out of anyone's mouth.
September 27, 2003
It's the story of Brandon Teena , 21, who was born a woman with the name Teena Brandon, but lived as a man in southeast Nebraska. Prosecutors said he was killed in a farmhouse on New Year's Eve 1993, along with two witnesses, because Teena had reported being raped by Lotter and another man after they discovered his biological identity. Lotter received three death sentences and awaits execution.
He got some more bad news yesterday. May he rot in hell.
September 26, 2003
What the hell?
Like men need another excuse to be, well, MEN. I can see it now: "Baby, I didn't mean to sleep with my hot, silicone-infested 23-year-old secretary. I was asleep. I have a condition."
Yeah, it's called being horny.
This Las Vegas funeral home has the right idea: If you gotta go, go with flare!
September 25, 2003
Are you a man who enjoys shopping, snappy shoes and a crisply starched buttondown? Have you ever frosted your hair or bought a pair of low rise bootcuts? Do you prefer a good martini over a sudsy draft? You could be metrosexual!
No fellas, that's not a new term for a man who likes to do the wild thing in modes of public transportation.
Take this quiz and find out!
Pricey; short for "expensive." (Sure I like that place, but it's kinda spenny.)
Obnoxious party-invite acronyms, as in No Ugly Men, Please/No Ugly Women, Thanks.
Stalking someone via e-mail.
A hiatus from guys. (Thanks, but no thanks. I'm kind of on guyatus.)
Self-Centered Urban Male. Know any?
Someone who looks really attractive from 50 feet away. Closer examination reveals ...
(Flashback to the movie Clueless, where Cher says, "she's such a Monet.") Similar concept.
Now I can stop using words like "bling bling" and "flossin'."
September 24, 2003
But before you write DePauw off your list, let me try to balance the scales a bit.
1) You may not know that DPU ranks in the top tier of America's national liberal arts colleges, according to US News & World Report's 2004 rankings.
2) The report also ranks Ã¢â¬ÅGreat Schools at Great Prices,Ã¢â¬Â and again this year rates DePauw as among the best values in its category. Using a formula that factors in the ratio of quality to price, the percentage of all undergraduates receiving grants meeting financial need, and average discount, DePauw is 22nd among national liberal arts colleges.
3) 72% of DePauw classes have fewer than 20 students enrolled (I could go on for hours about the benefits of this statistic).
4) US News also notes that DePauw is second among all of America's colleges and universities in the percentage of students who study abroad (89%). (I can't express how much value I received from international travel.)
5) DePauw is ranked eighth among over 800 liberal arts colleges as the source of top business executives, according to Standard & Poor's.
So, all I'm saying is, take some time to look past one statistic when picking out a college. I wanted a place that allowed me creative freedom, a place that would kick my ass in the classroom, and a place to let loose.
DePauw was all of those things and more. Work hard, play hard.
1) I exfoliate my face every Sunday night before I go to bed. It gets off the dead skin cells from the week and makes my skin very smooth. I've noticed an overall change in the appearance of my skin from doing this. Note: I suggest doing this at the end of the day, because I always look a bit red afterwards.
Recommended product: DDF Strawberry Almond Face and Body Polish -- It's a little pricey, but I'm still on the same bottle I've had for 3 months. A little bit goes a long way.
2) I deep clean my hair. I have very thick hair, and in order to keep it under control, I have to use a smoother, pomade, and hairspray. All of this "stuff" can build up on your hair. Because I use a milder shampoo for color-treated hair during the week, there is a need to deep clean it once a week.
Recommended product: d:fi Extreme Cleansing Shampoo -- Available at most salons. Note: do NOT use this product every day, or your hair will become stripped of its essential oil.
Costsaver Tip: Pantene makes a very similar (and cheaper) alternative called Daily Clarifying Shampoo.
September 23, 2003
At least it was a learning experience for one of the librarians, Debbie Barry, who stated, "[w]hat I should have done was yanked her hair and sat on her, but I didn't think of it at the time.Ã¢â¬Â
Hindsight is always 20/20, Deb.
This "we're so abused" crap is for the birds. Or apparently, the chicks.
September 22, 2003
Hint: Put on your Broadway caps.
September 21, 2003
8:57 p.m.--What the HELL is going on with Paula Abdul's hair? It's Miss America meets the Beehive. And that tiara thing? Awful.
9:15 p.m.--Very bad and stupid Rumsfeld imitation. Overdone.
9:30 p.m.--Debra Messing looks FABULOUS as usual.
9:48 p.m.--SO glad to see Door to Door has been winning awards. It truly was one of the best movies I saw last year. You should really try to catch it or rent it. As I'm writing, William H. Macy just won for this movie. Truly deserved. This story is about a humbled and heroic man, and Macy portrayed him beautifully. The show made me laugh and cry--the sign of a true drama.
10:10 p.m.--Note to Damon Wayans--have someone pronounce the nominees' names for you before you ever try this presenting thing again. You were terrible.
10:51 p.m. We sure did lose a lot of unbelievable talent this year.
10:58 p.m.--Dakota Fanning is the cutest little thing EVER!
11:00 p.m.--When you go up against Edie Falco, you're going to lose. Don't buy a dress. Don't even show up.
11:02 p.m.--When you go up against James Gandolfini, see above (only insert tux for dress).
11:11 p.m.--EVERYBODY DOES NOT LOVE RAYMOND!
However, I just can't help loving the Red Carpet coverage and cheering for my favorite people and shows. Tonight I'll be watching (if I get home from the law library in time) the 55th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at 8 p.m. Eastern on Fox. This year, I'm rooting for Six Feet Under, Sex and the City, and Will and Grace.
I'm also always intrigued whether Martin Sheen will take yet another opportunity to make an ass out of himself.
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