How much dysfunction can you fit into one photograph? I mean, seriously:

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 06:32 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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1 Great scott!!!!

Posted by: Kevin the Interloper at January 31, 2005 08:48 AM (qb+8W)

2 So many jokes, so little time. What is that a pic from and it is of anyone remotely famous?

Posted by: Brian D. at January 31, 2005 09:14 AM (dNhcQ)

3 Aaack..is that Courtney Love? I did not realize she was a giant..or is she just really a man? It's a MAN, baby! ~L.

Posted by: Laura Fitzgerald at January 31, 2005 11:53 AM (PQCQQ)

4 Oh Carmen . . . so hot . . . want to touch the hiney . . .

Posted by: Iceman at January 31, 2005 02:36 PM (Kohcy)

5 only britney and kevin federline are missing. and michael jackson.

Posted by: camille at February 01, 2005 10:22 AM (c4eno)

6 Rook, it's Paula Abdul! ha.

Posted by: kernyen at February 02, 2005 01:01 AM (iZm8A)

7 no posts since 1/31?!?! geesh.....i'm going into withdrawals....

Posted by: kris at February 02, 2005 03:06 PM (rw4EL)

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And in the world of Britney...

--Britney Spears' hip-hop hubby, Kevin Federline, is getting a metrosexual makeover courtesy of Details magazine. The editor in chief, Dan Peres, hired fashion photographer Steven Klein to shoot a cover photo of Federline to accompany Peres' interview of the former back up dancer.

It's rumored that Spears, with her tiny pup Bibit in tow, was on hand to direct Federline in the shoot, in which he swapped his wifebeater shirt and baggy jeans for more dapper duds. Spears even convinced Klein, who has shot the A-list likes of Brad Pitt and Madonna, to snap Federline for the April issue of L'Uomo Vogue.

--A la Jennifer (J.Lo) Lopez and Madonna (Esther), Britney Spears has adopted the moniker "Mona Lisa" in the credits of her video, "Do Somethin'," which she co-directed.

"I kinda think she's like my alter ego," Mrs. Federline tells TRL of Leonardo Da Vinci's enigmatic muse. "Whenever I feel like being mean or bustin' people to get stuff right, it's kinda easier to be called 'Mona Lisa' instead of Britney."

--I bet DaVinci is turning over in his grave.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 06:30 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Bloom and Bosworth split:

Orlando Bloom has ended his three-year romance with actress Kate Bosworth, because they were spending too much time apart, pals claim.

The sexy 28-year-old has been dating the Beyond The Sea beauty since they met on the set of a Gap ad in 2002. But Bloom allegedly separated from Bosworth after their recent holiday to Brazil, because their hectic filming schedules prevented them from having a stable relationship, reports British newspaper The Mail On Sunday.

A close friend explains, "Orlando has said that's it all over between him and Kate and that's he's back in the dating game. It seems they were never together for longer than a week before one of them had to jet off to the other side of the world for film commitments. Kate's devastated by the split but the truth is Orlando has always been a bit of a ladies' man and thinks he's too young to settle down."

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 06:24 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Angelina Jolie has reportedly given Brad Pitt a vial of gray powder to ward off accidents.

A friend of Pitt's discovered the vial when he opened the glove compartment in the actor's car, reports the New York Daily News. Pitt revealed Jolie told him the vial contained the remains of a bat.

--Angelina and her vials of crap. She's a nutjob.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 06:21 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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This year, the only thing MTV is exposing during the Super Bowl halftime is a revamped network.

After producing the infamous Janet Jackson halftime show last year, MTV will launch a new look to its sister station, MTV2, during the Feb. 6 game break. MTV and MTV2 will both air a preview special of MTV2, featuring a combination of music, shows and random content aimed at young males.

"Our audience is looking for an alternative to the Super Bowl halftime show and we felt that the new MTV2 fit the bill perfectly," said Van Toffler, president of the MTV Networks Group. The new MTV2 is composed of music videos, new shows, graphics and random clips "that have been scoured from the Internet, old B-movies and the public service dustbin."

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 06:18 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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A different kind of "amazing race:"

Germans can tune in to a TV reality show this week that breaks new ground in trashiness ... Sperm Race. Twelve men will compete against each other to see which one of them has the 'fastest' sperm.

The contestants, who include two German celebrities and a health freak, begin by donating sperm in a clinic, say the programme's producers, Endemol. The sperm will then be frozen and sent to the company's studio in Cologne, where the sperm will 'race' towards an egg - lured by a chemical that encourages them across the finishing line. Three doctors, including a gynaecologist, will be on hand to make sure the sperm behave correctly, while cameras will record it all.

As well as laying claim to the title of Germany's most fertile man, the winner will also be given a suitably German reward, a red Porsche.

--Every day I think reality shows can't sink any lower, and every day I'm proved wrong.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 06:16 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Banana Republic is getting bigger by starting small.

The mass-market clothing empire, known for its updated classics and Project Runway presence, is opening five petite boutiques in 2005. Starting in key markets Boston, Los Angeles, and Seattle, the stores will cater only to women 5Â’4 and under.

Besides small clothes, the stores will offer “fit guides”— personal shoppers trained to help petites match their body type to the perfect outfit. While the tall crowd may consider Banana’s new venture a style snub, they’ll be in the minority – 56% of American women are considered petite, and could make a major dent in Banana’s expanded market.

--A big, fat WHOO HOO from me! I have to get almost everything altered, and it gets pricey. This is great news. While it doesn't appear they are opening one of these boutiques in Indianapolis, I'm sure they'll have online options for those of us who are midgets in other cities.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 06:13 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Got secrets?

Share them on this blog. (Which, I supppose makes them no longer secrets, but hey, whatever).

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 06:09 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Jai Rodriguez (of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" fame) shows off his song-and-dance skills - and reveals intimate details of his life - Monday in the autobiographical musical "Xposed."

"It's like the 'US Weekly' version of my life," says Rodriguez of the Hudson Theatre show, a one-night-only benefit for The Actor's Fund. Rodriguez, who wrote the script for the two-hour production, will be backed by a large troupe of singer-dancers - and some showbiz pals.

The cast features Rosie Perez as his mother, and Shosanna Bean of Broadway's "Wicked" as his best friend. "Queer Eye" castmates Carson Kressley and Ted Allen will appear as themselves - with Kressley singing "Popular" from the score of "Wicked."

--I think this sounds like a fun show! (And thinking of Carson singing "Popular" has me giggling--those of you who know the music to the show will know what I'm talking about).

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A man who was presumed dead and sent to the Franklin County morgue has moved his feet and hands at the hospital where he is recovering, his family said.

--Oops.

--Thanks for the tip, Eli.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 05:59 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Note the new Blogads addition to the left sidebar. Feel free to advertise, and pass the word on.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 05:56 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 Yo! The G2 ain't payin' no fee! All free!

Posted by: Iceman at January 31, 2005 09:10 AM (Kohcy)

2 lawren, although I realize that some of your readers may find this addition shameless, I am happy that you have found a way to make this blog turn you a buck. If I had anything worth advertising, I would gladly put it here.

Posted by: ren at January 31, 2005 04:10 PM (hYO4F)

3 now if you could only find a way to bill for the time you spend keeping this up....

Posted by: ren at January 31, 2005 04:11 PM (hYO4F)

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Pot-loving rapper Snoop Dogg included a demand for high-grade marijuana as part of his rider for a show in Utah's Park City this week.

His other request were a PlayStation, Hennessy cognac, Moet champagne, Corona beer, doughnuts, cashews, peanut butter sandwiches and Starburst and Skittles sweets.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 06:36 AM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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1 HAHA! Snoops Crazyshizzle....

Posted by: La Bella at January 28, 2005 06:57 AM (Zny+A)

2 Well...he also has a son named "Spanky" and wants to coach an NFL team.

Posted by: Matt at January 28, 2005 07:35 AM (SEV17)

3 Any problems with contracting for illegal substances?

Posted by: Chad at January 28, 2005 08:47 AM (DH6I2)

4 I guess he needs all that food for the inevitable insane munchies he'll be having.

Posted by: Nico at January 28, 2005 09:00 AM (xSTHL)

5 Well it's good to know he's organized. He's got his pot for now and his doughnuts and candy for later.

Posted by: Christina at January 28, 2005 09:00 AM (j3zt5)

6 I thought he said a year or so ago that he ditched weed. Hmm....

Posted by: Kevin the Interloper at January 28, 2005 09:03 AM (qb+8W)

7 Nothing like moet to wash down peanut butter sandwiches. Really though, there the hell are you going to find good pot in Utah?

Posted by: ren at January 28, 2005 11:40 AM (2qlER)

8 His mama must be so proud...

Posted by: Dan at January 28, 2005 12:38 PM (wg1sd)

9 Dammit now I was starbursts!

Posted by: Eli at January 28, 2005 06:14 PM (KAClU)

10 So hes memorized the brand names... Why dinht he specify Krispy Kremes or Jif peanut butter?

Posted by: mike at January 28, 2005 09:15 PM (IxyZj)

11 I wonder who on the event staff had the task of obtaining said "high-grade marijuana"...honest officer..IT'S NOT MINE!!! ~L.

Posted by: Laura Fitzgerald at January 29, 2005 06:02 PM (PQCQQ)

12 Starbursts? Skittles? Peanut Butter Sam'miches? LOL! Snoop is something else. Well hey, I guess when you have his kinna money you can get it like that...lol.

Posted by: Dayrell at January 30, 2005 07:11 PM (Xt49S)

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Federline continues to ooze class everywhere he goes:

Britney Spears' new husband Kevin Federline and his pals treated themselves to a series of lap dances during a weekend trip to Las Vegas - and he was given his wife's blessing.

On January 21, the dancer and his friends checked into the VIP suite at the American gambling haven's Hard Rock Hotel & Casino before dining at the Pink Taco. The next night, they enjoyed a steak meal before heading on to the popular strip club, Spearmint Rhino.

A source says, "Kevin had several lap dances. But they didn't get out of line." Spears, who was enjoying a spa trip with her girlfriends, arrived in time to see the show by circus troupe Cirque Du Soleil the following night before the couple holed themselves up in Federline's hotel room. Spears' representative Leslie Sloane says of the lap dances, "Big deal. It's a guy thing."

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 06:33 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Attention ladies!!!

I have the inside scoop on how to fake it.

(On Super Bowl Sunday).

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 06:30 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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It appears that Anna and Enrique are SO in love they decided to start dressing alike:

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 06:29 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Jennifer Lopez didn't disappoint in the diva stakes at last weekend's NRJ Music Awards in France. The singer, 35, made a list of backstage requests that would give a dietitian nightmares.

Jenny from the Block is said to have demanded soft baked chocolate-chip cookies, sour cream and onion crisps, nacho cheese Doritos, M&Ms, Snickers, white bread and American cheese.

J.Lo also asked for white or red roses or white lilies with the leaves removed.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 06:26 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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Diesel--The Musical?

Diesel's current rebranding initiative will not only put it on the catwalk during New York Fashion Week, it's going to deal with the whole future of fashion.

The Italian label has conceived an entire musical to tout its spring/summer 2005 ad campaign. Shot by British photographer Elaine Constantine who worked alongside US choreographer Michael Rooney, Future catalogues the bright optimism of the Sixties and Seventies which saw a future full of "limitless possibilities and an exciting promise of a universal better living".

If the stills featuring the spring collection, entitled Suburbs of Utopia, aren't enough for you, you can check out the website that will feature backstage footage of the shoot, dance move tips and songs from the musical.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 06:24 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Remember Ricky? (I guess some people don't)

Latin crooner Ricky Martin was mistaken for the hotel piano player in the Savoy's American Bar.

One witness reported: "He was playing for 30 minutes but being ignored. So he thumped the keys hard and sang Livin' La Vida Loca. People looked up - then went back to ignoring him."

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 06:21 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 Ouch! Poor Ricky. Yes, I remember him. We broke up last year... HAHAHA

Posted by: La Bella at January 28, 2005 07:01 AM (Zny+A)

2 They let him play the piano? He should have been outside parking cars...

Posted by: Shillelagh at January 28, 2005 09:54 AM (lrCbr)

3 La Bella broke up with Ricky Martin last year? I didn't know La Bella was a man! Now that Ricky's star has faded, I expect that coming out interview to happen any day now, if only to give him a last gasp of fame.

Posted by: chuck at January 28, 2005 12:12 PM (EBBuL)

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All I have to say about this, is "Wow."

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 06:19 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 HOLY CRAP!!! Damn, that girl's gotta be a size what...? -6!? lmao She's gotta have small hips for that... DAMN! Unbelieveable.

Posted by: La Bella at January 28, 2005 07:04 AM (Zny+A)

2 The way she's grabbing her head at the end it looks like she may have hurt herself.

Posted by: M@ at January 28, 2005 07:53 AM (f2jsN)

3 Holy S$#@. Size 6, try size 2! Impressive, but yeah I think she bonked her head at the end. Once you start rotating you keep on rotating. Ouch!

Posted by: Brian D. at January 28, 2005 08:39 AM (MznY7)

4 ummm.....could be smaller than a 2, but most definitely has extremely small hips.... lawren-- i love your website. i dont know how i came across it, but i have been reading it for a couple weeks...

Posted by: kristy at January 28, 2005 10:37 AM (1/enf)

5 AMAZING

Posted by: Joe Delamater at January 28, 2005 05:14 PM (Gi/mW)

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The wife of former "The Brady Bunch" kid Barry Williams has filed for divorce, according to court papers.

Barry, 50, who played Greg Brady on the series, married Ella Mary Matt Williams in 1999. The couple formally separated earlier this month and have a 2-year-old son, according to the divorce petition filed Tuesday in Superior Court.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 06:18 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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