September 23, 2004

The High Heel Defense

Attorney Bill Thomas may get a lot more business from female motorists thanks to a novel defense strategy: High heels can help beat a DWI rap.

Thomas last week asked a judge how anyone could pass a field sobriety test — which requires a lot of walking — in a pair of 3 1/2-inch stiletto high heels.

The never-before-heard argument created a minor sensation among court officials and observers. Thomas contended it would be "fundamentally unfair" to use the results of field sobriety tests against one of his female clients because she was wearing stiletto heels at the time, making her unsteady on her feet. Considering that she was wearing stiletto heels, the woman did remarkably well by making it to 16 seconds, Thomas argued.

Judge Wade Barber squelched the results of the field sobriety tests and tossed out the DWI case.

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Lesbian Waffles


Waffles propagandizing lesbian love appeared in food stores of Ekaterinburg, the Ural region of Russia. The packaging of Artek waffles depicts two little girls hugging each other. The girls are of different skin color - to all appearance, the designer wished to express the children's internationalism in his work.

"One girl put her arm around the other girl - she is holding the girl's hand, trying to kiss her on a cheek. The other girl does not seem to have anything against such a gesture: she is keeping her eyes wide open, she is smiling back and blushing," a local newspaper wrote.

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Looks Don't Matter to Paris

Attention all ugly guys:

Ugly guys have a shot at Paris Hilton now. Hilton tells "Access Hollywood" that "looks don't matter anymore" when she's picking a boyfriend.

She says it's more important that a boy treats her well and loves her. Hilton says she's come to the realization that "one day we're all going to be ugly." She says "we're all going to be 80 years old and ugly, so who cares?"

--She's so tactful. Guess this means she really is willing to screw any guy.

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September 22, 2004

Bride of Frankenstein

During an interview on Britain's GMTV Tuesday morning Cybil Shepard, who once appeared on the cover of Vogue magazine, explained that she had worn a cape to the interview to hide her "jetlag hair."

"Sorry about the cape, but I didn't have time to do my hair," she explained to bemused host Fiona Phillips.

"If you'd like a laugh I'll take it off in a bit but it's a little scary. I bought this cape last year and thought, 'Someday I'm going to wear this every day of my life'. So far I've been in London for two days and I've worn it every day."

--I'm sorry, Cybil, but were you riding ON TOP OF the aircraft?!?!?!?!?!?

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Spacey Says...

...turn off your damn phones!!

Hollywood star Kevin Spacey has hit out at audiences at London's Old Vic theater, insisting they need to learn to behave in a proper manner. The American Beauty star - who is artistic director at the historic playhouse - has become so incensed by the disruption caused by ringing mobile phones and the opening of sweet packets during performances, he now personally issues a warning to audiences.

Spacey argues, "I don't think people take those things seriously. That's why mobile phones go off in the theater, and that's why people open candy bars thinking if they open it slowly it will be less annoying than if they open it fast. My answer is that I say to each audience 'Don't!' You have to respect the fact there is some degree of behavior that we expect in the theater and we're going to demand it at the Old Vic. It's a phone-free zone. We don't want them ringing and we certainly don't want them ringing and people ignoring them pretending that it's not theirs."

The Oscar winner is currently making his directorial debut at the Old Vic with the play Cloaca.

--Oh I am SO with you, Kevin!

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Dream Contest

Oh I SO want to win this:

Movie fans around the world have probably imagined what it would be like to be front and center on the red-carpet with stars like Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, and Charlize Theron.

A contest on www.oscars.org now gives those fans the chance to make their dreams a reality. Winners of a random drawing will get to sit in the red-carpet bleacher seats at the 77th Academy Awards on Sunday, February 27, 2005. The contest started yesterday and runs through September 27. Directions and entry forms are available on the Web site.

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September 21, 2004

Long Overdue


After decades of entertaining the world with his music, Billy Joel will finally see his name on the famous Hollywood Walk of Fame.

The "Piano Man's" star is unveiled today in front of the Pantages Theatre on Hollywood Boulevard. Joel's Tony Award-winning Broadway musical, Movin' Out, recently opened there and will be playing through October 31.

A trained classical pianist from a very early age, Joel released his first album, Cold Spring Harbor, in 1972 and went on to create such favorites as "Allentown" and the renowned "Piano Man." He has also contributed to philanthropic causes through the years, like the Make A Wish Foundation and Save the Music.

--'Bout damn time!

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Trump on Rathergate

Trump on Rathergate:

If embattled CBS News anchorman Dan Rather were a contestant on "The Apprentice," Donald Trump would say to him, "You're Fired!"

--Maybe CBS will follow The Donald's lead.

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New Union

HBO has Friends:

Lisa Kudrow is set to star in and produce the HBO comedy series The Comeback. She's teaming up with Sex and the City writer-producer and awards-show-staple Michael Patrick King to play a has-been actress staging her return to show biz.

Meanwhile, in a movie with a very similar plot line, fellow Friend Courteney Cox is also starring in and producing a drama for HBO. In Rehab, Cox plays an actress who is a recovering alcoholic and, um, staging her return to show biz. The Notebook helmer Nick Cassavetes writes and directs the pilot.

--Maybe they should call each other the next time they decide to pick a script.

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September 20, 2004

Free Crabby

And from the You're a Moron Chronicles...

Edward Furlong's ploy to free some lobsters from their tank landed the 27-year-old actor in jail.

The animal-rights supporter and vegetarian was arrested after he and some friends removed lobsters from a tank at a grocery store. Furlong argued with store managers, who then called police, according to his arrest citation.

He was arrested Wednesday night on a misdemeanor charge of alcohol intoxication in a public place in the northern Kentucky city of Florence, police said.

Furlong, who appeared in "Terminator 2: Judgment Day" and "American History X," spent about 90 minutes in Kentucky's Boone County jail before his release.

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She did it again


Yep, Brit is hitched--AGAIN.

The bride wore a white strapless dress and Kevin donned a tuxedo as the two exchanged vows during a non-denominational ceremony. Twenty to thirty guests, including Britney's mother and sister, were on-hand for the event, which took place around midnight in a white tent erected in the backyard of a private home. Afterwards, everyone dined on a feast of chicken fingers, ribs and waldorf salad while music played from a boombox.

As the beaming bride left the house in the early hours of Sunday morning and headed to Hollywood's famed nightclub, Dublin's, for a 2 a.m. reception. A laughing Britney and her brand-new husband departed the home in a black SUV. The rest of the guests emerged wearing sweatsuits -- the girls in pink, the boys in white with the word "Pimps" embroidered on the back. Even Kevin's father got into the stylish sweats mix -- but his actually said "Pimp Daddy!"

New bride Britney also donned a pink sweatsuit as she danced with her new hubby, and even performed a provocative pole dance. Fellow club-goers were apparently thrilled to see the famous pair there, but left them alone.

--Can't imagine the look on my father's face if I asked him to wear a sweatsuit that said "Pimp Daddy" and performed a pole dance at my reception.

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Fun Quiz


Which British Literary Period are you?

Medieval

1066-1500--The time of Arthur and his knights, and Chaucer. Friendship and loyalty are important to you.

Personality Test Results

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

Shamefully stolen from Chuck.

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Season Premiere of SNL

Ben Affleck will host the 30th season premiere of "Saturday Night Live" with musical guest Nelly on Oct. 2, NBC announced Wednesday.

Bill Clinton had been invited to host the not-ready-for-prime-time show but turned down the offer, NBC said last month. No reason was given for Clinton rejecting the offer.

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September 17, 2004

Buh Bye Slutwear

And in fashion news...

Goodbye Slutwear

Demure designs have replaced scanty navel-baring looks on the catwalks of this week's semi-annual run of fashion shows, a reliable sign of what shoppers can expect to find in stores next spring.

"The slut is out now. She's dead," said Godfrey Deeny, senior fashion critic at Fashion Wire Daily.

UPDATE: It seems that Eminem has not yet been notified of this trend.

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Broadway Update

A musical about the life of former Beatle John Lennon is set to open on New York's Broadway next summer, in time for the 25th anniversary of his murder.

The show, titled Lennon and written and directed by TV veteran Don Scardino, will mainly include post-Beatles songs such as "Imagine," "Give Peace A Chance" and "Whatever Gets You Through The Night." It is due to start at San Francisco's Orpheum in April, before moving to Boston's Colonial and then to Broadway's Broadhurst Theatre.

By this time, it will face competition from other musicals based on the lives of music legends, with Good Vibrations, a musical based on The Beach Boys' tunes, and All Shook Up, based on the songs of Elvis Presley.

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His Prerogative


Bobby Brown reportedly wants to clean up his life and now the whole world might be able to watch it.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, after months of negotiations, the star's new TV reality series has been picked up by the cable network Bravo. "Being Bobby Brown" is expected to chronicle the day-to-day life of the pop icon, whose numerous run-ins with the law in recent years have often caused the media to tout him as a bad boy.

Bobby's famous wife, Whitney Houston, and his children are also expected to appear in the show. The series, comprised of 10 one-hour episodes, will reportedly aim for a debut in the second quarter of next year.

--Oh, can I tell you how pumped I am about this? This is going to be like watching a big, giant train wreck. I really want to hear Whitney say, "Crack is whack" again with a straight face.

--One more thing: the thing I used to love about Bravo was that it was a little more upper crust than the other networks. This seems like a downgrade for them. The "Bobby" show fits more on MTV or the WB I think.

--P.S. Maybe someone can teach him how to pronounce "prerogative."

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September 16, 2004

Carnie's expecting


Ok, so we all know that Carnie is preggers.

But my question is, doesn't the fact that she practically has no stomach pose some obstacles to pregnancy? I mean, you see how much most expecting mothers eat. She'll be lucky if she can eat 25% of that. Someone explain...

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Will, Grace, and Babs

Barbra Streisand is set to extend on her return to acting, by taking on a guest-starring role in hit sitcom Will & Grace.

Streisand is currently finishing off work as Ben Stiller's sex therapist mother in Meet The Parents sequel Meet The Fockers, after a long absence from the silver screen.

And now she is expected to follow in the footsteps of Cher, Jennifer Lopez and Janet Jackson by taking on a role in Will & Grace - news which has proved to be all too exciting for the show's Emmy-winning star Debra Messing. The redhead actress says, "If she comes on the show, forget about it! Barbra, please come!" Messing admits she "burst into tears" when Streisand greeted her at a concert a number of years ago.

--I want a Jack and Babs duet.

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Big, Fat Clerical Error

A convicted murderer facing 40 years has been mistakenly released from prison and police need your help finding him.

As part of an agreement William Nesmith plead guilty to two counts of third degree murder relating to a North Philadelphia house fire that killed two and injured five in 1999. In exchange for testimony against another man, Nesmith was ordered to serve between 20 and 40 years in prison.

However, on July 31st Nesmith was released from the Curran-Fromhold Correctional Facility in Pennsylvania due to a clerical error.

--Our justice system at its finest.

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September 15, 2004

Go Rupert


Indiana's Rupert Boneham, the million-dollar winner on the TV show "Survivor: America's Tribal Council," is using a chunk of his winnings to start a new charity.

Boneham announced Tuesday that he was donating $100,000 to launch Rupert's Kids, a program to help troubled youths and provide affordable housing for the poor in Indianapolis.

--Hoosier survivor does good.

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