September 15, 2004

I am not an average American

The average American spent 8.6 hours a day sleeping last year, only 3.7 hours working and had 5.1 leisure hours -- half of which was spent watching television, a survey showed Tuesday.

--I'm sorry, but who the hell are these people? I haven't gotten 8 hours of sleep since 7th grade. Yes, I know the study says "average," but I have a hard time buying the stat that the "average" American only worked 3.7 hours.

--This is my favorite stat: "Men typically had more leisure than women."

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A la Tyson

A grocer had his ear bitten off by a hungry customer when he refused to let him have a free watermelon.

The Ukrainian man, not named for legal reasons, had demanded a watermelon at the shop in the Siberian town of Hanty Mansisk.

But when the shop assistant refused to hand over a fruit for free, he flew into a rage, jumped over the counter and bit off his ear.

Police who caught the blood stained attacker minutes later have charged him with grievious bodily harm and theft, saying: "We couldn't find the ear, we think he ate it.

--NO WATERMELON FOR YOU!!!

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 07:19 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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September 14, 2004

SuperDog

Click here for a hysterical clip about a dog who only has 2 legs--and walks like a human!

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Let's Dance, the Lap Dance

Screen hunks Matt Damon and Hugh Jackman gave American news veteran Barbara Walters the ultimate thrill on Sunday when they put on a lapdance for her.

Walters, who is stepping down from her long-time role of anchor on news magazine show 20/20, attended Jackman's final performance of The Boy From Oz on Broadway, and was stunned when she was pulled from the audience for a little onstage action. She says, "I'm sitting there minding my own business. (During) the second act he comes in and says, 'I usually dance with someone, but today is my last day and there is a lady in the audience and she is celebrating her last days on 20/20.'

I thought, 'He's gonna make me dance. I can't get up there.' He says, 'No, you gotta come.' So I go up on the stage. He says, 'Okay sit down,' and then he says, Matt Damon,' are you here?' And Matt Damon hides his face and Jackman beckons him. And I sat while Matt Damon and Hugh Jackman did a lapdance with me!" An elated Walters adds of Jackman, "Whatever he's going to do (in the future), my fantasy was fantastic and he was fantastic!"

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Endorse me like Beckham


"Shave it like Beckham" is the slogan behind Gillette's latest campaign featuring soccer superstar David Beckham.

The British athlete will reportedly earn $61 million dollars to endorse the company's shaving products. The advertising deal will mark the biggest to date for the Real Madrid midfielder and put him on par with endorsement-savvy athletes like Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan.

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September 13, 2004

Grab your Ice picks


Who could forget the impact screen siren Sharon Stone (and her lack of underwear) made on audiences in the provocative 1992 murder mystery, Basic Instinct?

Now, the actress may try to top, or at least match, that memorable performance in a sequel to the movie. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Stone is now set to star in Basic Instinct 2, as the manipulative and seductive character she played in the original: novelist Catherine Tramell. The publication also claims MGM is currently in negotiations with a director for the upcoming project. The much-anticipated sequel has been in the works for a few years now, but reportedly ran into various obstacles in its development.

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RIP

Fred Ebb, who wrote the lyrics for such hit Broadway musicals as "Chicago" and "Cabaret" as well as the big-city anthem "New York, New York," has died of a heart attack.

--What a legend.

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We Fat

Like I needed a detailed analysis to realize that many Hoosiers are obese, but here's a study that does a state-by-state comparison.

Who are the big fatties?
5. Indiana
4. Kentucky
3. Michigan
2. West Virginia
1. Mississippi

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6FU

I thought last night's season finale of Six Feet Under was really good.

Your thoughts?

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September 11, 2004

9/11

Posted on September 10 of last year:

Tomorrow is not just another day. We all know that. Rather than go through and outline how 9/11 unfolded for me, how I felt, how I cried, how I was angry, I'd rather talk to you about my trip to New York City.

October 10, 2001--just a few short weeks after the attacks, my mom, dad, and I flew to NYC. We had had this trip planned for months. See, it was my fall break from law school and my birthday was the 12th, so we decided to celebrate. I booked us tickets for 2 Broadway shows--what was to be my first Broadway theater experience. Mom booked us lunch reservations at Windows on the World, in the World Trade Center, for the day of my birthday. Needless to say, those plans didn't happen.

After the attacks, I never in a million years thought we would go. My mom and I hated flying, and to be quite frank, I was scared to death to go there. We talked about it and decided to go through with it. My dad's quote: "If we can help, even just monetarily as tourists, it's our job as soldiers of a different kind." So, off we went.

Of course security was crazy. We boarded the plane (after my mom had stalked the pilot to make sure he was "ok") and we were 3 of 5 people on it. I was starting to wonder, "were we completely INSANE for doing this?" Too late now. Off we went.

We landed in a ghostown known has La Guardia. No one was there. Our luggage was the ONLY luggage on the carousel. An airport worker we were talking to asked us to stay around and talk for awhile--we were the first people she'd seen in days. We did. About 30 minutes later, we went to go get our cab. Rows of cabs waiting--no people. We had our pick of the lot.

We arrived at Times Square near our hotel. More USA memorabilia than you can imagine. A hush was over the city, and everyone was so thankful that we were there. We ventured out and took a ferry ride around Manhattan. To my right--lady Liberty. To my left--mass destruction. Words can't describe.

On our walk back to the hotel, we passed many firestations. We stopped at them all, looked at all the pictures and notes, and cried. The Broadway shows were not played before a full house--maybe half at best. But they were still amazing to me.

Another time we were talking through Times Square, a firetruck drove down the street coming back from a run. Everyone, and I mean everyone stopped what they were doing, dropped their bags, purses, etc., and clapped, whistled, and cheered. More tears.

I wanted to see the NBC studios. We got tickets and took the tour. It was great. That was the day of my birthday. Instead of Windows on the World, we had lunch at Tavern on the Green in Central Park. We also took a carriage ride. It was wonderful. My mom went back to the hotel to nap, so dad and I went to a great Irish pub we found. We were watching the news and saw tons of police at Rockefeller Plaza. To our amazement, the anchor said NBC (where we had JUST a few hours before) was shut down for a possible anthrax attack. Was this trip a TOTAL mistake? I had a sick feeling in my stomach from that moment on.

Our last night there, we had dinner at an amazing restaurant at the base of the Brooklyn Bridge. It was a beautiful site--the NYC skyline at night. But there was a massive missing part that no one needed to discuss. The New Yorkers there were awesome, and we sang w/ the piano player well into the night. "New York, New York" and "New York State of Mind." I felt wonderful being with them.

I had never felt so relieved get back to Indiana. But I knew this would be the most necessary trip I ever went on--ever.

This was a short version of my accounts. I didn't want to bore you. I have many emotions with regard to tomorrow. What if the attacks had been a month later? Would I have been in the World Trade Center? And I think I have more anger than some...because while I want things to end peacefully, I'm left thinking and singing a line from Toby Keith's song: "We'll put a boot in your ass, it's the American way."

Yes it is. And I'm proud of that.

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September 10, 2004

Cell-U-Bling

Because everyone needs a Bling Ring:

Hot new item: A Bling Kit

Everything you need to bling your cell phone—all models, plus iPods, Sidekicks, Blackberrys, etc.— including glue setting tools, instructions and Swarovski crystals. Comes in a gold or silver fabric case.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 07:10 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Looney Tunes

Jennifer Lopez believes in a "faith healer" who purifies her houses by ridding "bad auras."

--Right. Because J-Lo's bad luck couldn't possibly have anything to do with some of her piss-poor decisions.

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Stupid Law

After some downtown merchants raised concerns about the problem, Columbia, South Caroloina City Council on Wednesday made it illegal to “urinate or defecate” anywhere other than a “facility designated for the sanitary disposal of human waste.”

--Shoot!! There goes my plan for the weekend.

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September 09, 2004

The Big Dis

Tom Cruise asked Olympic double-gold medalist track star Kelly Holmes to accompany him to the U.K. premiere of his film "Collateral," she claims.

But Holmes said no because it would have been inconvenient - and because she didn't have anything to wear, reports MSNBC.com.

--Is she insane? I'm sure ole Tommy could have called Valentino or Versace to have something sent. And since when do athletes care about the way they look? (Kidding.)

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GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!

A Gloucestershire woman says she was bitten on the big toe by a seven-inch bed bug.

Joy Jones said she screamed in agony after being bitten by the poisonous centipede.

The 60-year-old believes it was the same one she threw away and left for dead in her garden over a year ago.

--Um, that's fricking disgusting!

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Christina's Cheap Ways

Last weekend's really serious partying didn't even start until after the MTV Video Music Awards were over, since many celebrities extended their stay in Miami despite 90-degree heat.

Christina Aguilera hid under a fedora while she ate with her boyfriend - and apparently she's not much of a tipper. She and pals ordered up $300 worth of food to the Raleigh pool early Monday morning - but only left $12.

--That's just infuriating. I can't stand cheap people. Let alone rich cheap people. Don't leave the house unless you are prepared to tip. I very rarely leave less than 20%--usually only if it's a buffet or something.

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September 08, 2004

The Essentials?

CBC radio has compiled the 5 most essential songs from each decade since 1900.

Click here and let me know if you agree.

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Klum Insures Her Legs


Supermodel Heidi Klum has had her lovely legs insured for two million dollars. According to the New York Daily News, insurance expert John Songlides, from auction house Phillips De Pury & Company, had the tough job of personally assessing their value.

The beauty's gorgeous gams will be insured as long as her legs appear in ads for a hair removal product.

However, it should be noted that soccer star David Beckham has a bit of a leg up on Klum. His are insured for a cool $70 million-plus.

Posted by: Lawrenkm at 07:12 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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P. Diddy TKO?

Hot on the heels of turning down a quarter-million dollar payday to appear at Wrestlemania 20, Hulk Hogan appeared on the MTV Video Music Awards and started an angle with none other than Sean "P. Diddy" Combs.

Hogan was at the VMA's helping promote his daughter Brooke's new single. Combs had challenged Hogan to wrestle him for a million dollars, likely seeing it as a funny throwaway line. He clearly had no clue who he was dealing with, as Hogan definitely knows an opportunity for himself when he sees one, so, after trashing Randy Savage, Hulkster then moved onto the big game by going after P. Diddy:

"I know a million dollars ain't that big of a hit to him. So if he's gonna get beat up, he might as well make it a hundred million dollars. I can't ever lose in front of my daughter. But I've got a lot of respect for (P. Diddy). I saw him run for those kids in New York. So it's all good. If it's a million dollars for the kids, if he wants to put that up, I'll let him beat me."

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Unexpected Guest

An Austrian family had their weekend picnic ruined when a lump of frozen excrement fell from the sky and hit their barbecue.

The family from Graz said the grill suddenly exploded as it was struck by a large object that had missed them by a few feet.

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