September 29, 2004
-- Every couple of weeks she has to fly to California to care for a "sick aunt."
-- When in bed, she just lies there until you yell "Action!"
-- Just as you're about to make love, she asks, "What's my motivation?"
-- She keeps getting mail addressed to "Patty O'Plenty."
-- Whenever you go out, drooling men ask her for her autograph.
-- She looks suspiciously like the Hustler pin-up in your neighbor's garage.
-- She knows sexual positions that would put a circus contortionist in the hospital.
-- She wears a micro miniskirt and six-inch spike heels to go grocery shopping.
-- On your joint tax return she lists her occupation as "passion princess."
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