Matt LeBlanc spills his guts to this week's National Enquirer about how he almost cheated on his wife with a naked stripper at an all-nude club in Victoria, British Columbia.

LeBlanc's strangely fascinating confession — headlined "My Wild Night With a Stripper" — features photos of the unshaven actor holding his head in apparent shame and somberly sitting at a table with Enquirer reporter Steve Dennis.

LeBlanc tells the improbable tale of how he was mauled by the "sexually aggressive" stripper while partying at the nudie joint during a motorcycle trip with five buddies. "The stripper was all over me," LeBlanc claims. "I was drinking, and she was crossing the line . . . She was in my face, pushing her breasts into me and grabbing my hands to go all over her body. She was telling me to caress her and in my head I'm thinking, 'What's going on?' If I had been sober, perhaps I would have acted quicker, but I was pretty drunk . . . When I realized the situation that was unfolding I felt I was being careless and irresponsible, and I had to get the hell out of there . . . I could not wait to get home. The guys said a trap had been set for me and I fell right in it, and that's why I feel stupid and careless now."

--"If I had been sober..." Give me a break.

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