And in the dysfunctional world of the Osbournes...

Biting the head off of a bat is only the tip of the iceberg as far as Ozzy Osbourne’s wacky exploits are concerned. The heavy metal singer shares some of his less-legendary but just-as-strange stories of debauchery in the upcoming FHM, including the saga of “The Ass Tobacco.”

Ozzy says, years ago, he used to keep a pouch of tobacco by the side of his bed so he could roll his own cigarettes as soon as he woke up in the morning.

One night, he and his wife, Sharon, were up to some hanky panky and, unknowingly, he tipped the tobacco in between the sheets while they were rolling around.

When Ozzy woke up the next morning, he saw a splotch of tobacco on Sharon’s heinie and thought, as he puts it, “she had shat the bed!”

Eventually, he realized it was his beloved tobacco, so he peeled it off of her rump, rolled it up and smoked it.

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